Rain and Fire
by shuusetsu
Summary: Onodera Ritsu has an ugly scar on his face that pulls his self confidence down the gutters. He was currently in a relationship when he met a strange guy named Takano Masamune who seemed to be mesmerized by the scar Ritsu despises himself. (4part-LONGSHOT)
1. Heat 1

**If you are deciding to read this, thank you very much. I surprised myself that I can write a whole story in just a longshot. Please I would appreciate it if you give this shot a chance. I am very proud of this. LoL...accomplishent..hahaha despite my chaotic schedule**

* * *

**Heat 1**

* * *

_Hot. It's so hot. How come I'm still alive after this heat? I should just burn with all this shit around me._

He could feel his sweat trickling down from his forehead to the side of his awful face. He shut his eyes to everything.

_I don't want to see anything anymore. I just want to disappear and be gone. Gone forever. Gone forever like the promises of those bastards who told me they'd never leave me. But look at me now. I am alone. Burning alone in this rundown, hellish apartment._

He coughed. His nostrils started reacting to the thickening smoke floating above him. "Devour me. Devour me now..." he prayed aloud. He prayed so earnestly.

To be honest, he didn't even know anymore if he was the one who caused the hissing fire around him. He was so wasted after his 26th breakup with the man he thought was finally 'the one'.

He felt his lips curl into what seemed like an ugly, demented smile.

_Yeah he is freaking one of them. Those who just looked for a tight hole they can plunge themselves into without worrying about pregnancy. I hate them. I hate them_.

"I hate them!" he started screaming. He felt like he was having a screaming contest with the devouring sounds of the fire snaking its way around his sex, soaked place.

The ceiling on his right side gave away. He could hear it very clearly. The sound of old wood eaten by the hungry flames. The photos of him when he was still young and pure melted with the reddish tongues.

No matter how hard he shut his eyes, he could see the approaching waves of red and orange towards his limp body. He waited with such anticipation.

He coughed again. This time harder, deeper, longer. It seemed like there were nails digging inside his throat. It felt raw, rough and dry. Dying by suffocating wasn't so cool like he'd thought. His poor lungs seemed to have shrunk already. Just a matter of time and he'd be gone.

_Which wouldn't make a difference on the face of planet Earth. My whole existence seemed like a mistake anyway._

He was born a loser, and in the end, he'd die a loser. Such was the fate of a gay with no talent. With no money. And with no beautiful face. No wonder when they fucked me they hadn't looked me in the eyes.

"Fuck..."_ Why did I just realize it now? No one had really looked through me. No one accepted me. No one._

He curled up into a ball sensing the heat growing more intense by each passing second. Maybe he was already melting. Hell knows! He drank 3 bottles of hot sake. To hell with everything!

But soon he heard a demented laugh escape his chapped lips. He heard a voice that didn't sound his calling out a name. Pathetic, but he had no other name to utter. "Ta-Takano-san..."

He laughed despite the tears he had tried so hard to stop. But he lost to himself. He mocked himself at how he was already dying, and yet he was thinking of someone who was just kind and nothing more.

* * *

"Oi, Onodera, what are you spacing out there? Hurry up and bring those boxes inside!"

Onodera Ritsu stood with his emerald eyes staring at a truck parked across the establishment he was working. His one arm carrying a light box of assorted candies, he used the other free one to tug his cap lower to his face.

With one last glance to the people carrying huge boxes into the bungalow styled house with a small garden in front, Ritsu walked inside the convenience store he was working part-time.

"Arashi, have you heard that lot being sold? There seem to be a new owner," he began while he assorted the candies on the display rack.

Blonde, tall and masculine, the man exuded a strong and wild presence. Arashi frowned at Ritsu before throwing the box he was carrying at Ritsu's feet.

"That's Ueno for you," the voice barked. Ritsu had to lift his gaze at the sudden cold treatment. Just last night this very same man was grunting like an animal on top of him.

Arashi inserted his hands in his gray work overalls and bended close to the brunette with a perplexed expression. "We're at work. Have some sense in your head for crying out loud!"

"Sorry. I forgot."

Satisfied, Arashi started going on at the corners to check more stock. As if the tension between the secret lovers, hadn't occurred.

"Yeah. I heard there was finally an idiot who decided to buy that old house. Who knows, maybe he or she is a lonely old person wanting some peace from the busy life in Tokyo before dying," said the man sounding so apathetic and bored.

"What's so wrong with that?" Ritsu asked absentmindedly. The question was more for himself than the man he was talking to.  
"Huh?" Arashi's thick brows furrowed as he looked at the emerald-eyed man staring outside at the busy people hauling furniture. His lips curled up a little as he watched his bitch at night.

He would be such a pretty face if not for that smashed-like centipede scar on his face. Such a waste. Arashi thought to himself. But he didn't care so much about it since he always had his eyes closed when fucking the slim man anyway.

Finally done with the preparations for the day, Ritsu placed the sign 'open' and took his position at the cashier counter while Arashi, the son of the owner of the convenience store laze at the back smoking, or probably jerking off at some porn DVD.

Business was always slow at a Sunday. Most teens who stayed at the convenience store during weekends go to malls or somewhere to kill time before burying themselves with more studying.

He flipped lazily at a magazine when he heard the bells hanging by the glass door ring. A customer had entered the shop and so he raised his face to greet.

"Welcome!"

Fearless. That was the first word that popped inside Ritsu's head as he watched the man walked around the shop. He had dark hair that accentuated the clearness of the hazel jewels scrutinizing the goods on one rack. He had a composure of someone that came from an extensive training yet he had a very well built body. Not too muscular and not thin either.

He was so dressed so casually like he just woken up that Ritsu can't help but think the man was someone who didn't care for physical appearances that much.

Finally after so long, the man carefully placed his cans of beer on the counter looking bored.

Although Ritsu was curious why the man was buying beer so early in the morning, he shut his mouth instead and started scanning the items.

"Your scar..." a voice that sent shivers down Ritsu's spine started.

Ritsu's hand froze by the scanner, the can in hand as he looked at the eyes looking at his face. Despite the cap, the blotch of uneven skin on his right cheek was still visible.

Ritsu didn't know what to do. His body grew tense. People had always mocked him because of that ugly scar on his face. And he hated it.

Pursing his lips together, Ritsu began scanning the items in a hurry.

"Your scar," the unknown man again repeated making Ritsu frown under his cap. "You got that in a fire right?"

At the observation, Ritsu's lips parted a little as if to ask 'How'd you know?'

"It wouldn't have gone bad if it was treated properly," the man continued while counting paper bills from his black, leather wallet.

After giving the paper bills, the man right away grabbed the plastic bags and went out.

"Hey! Sir! Your change..." Ritsu trailed off as he followed the man with his gaze disappear into the old house that had been unoccupied for a long time.

_So...he's the new owner..._


	2. Heat 2

**Heat 2**

* * *

There wasn't a day that Ritsu didn't glance towards the old house across the convenience store. But it has been a week since the last time he saw the man. He was filled with the want to see those hazel eyes again. Attraction or what but he was pulled by him into some level.

It was the first time for Ritsu to have his scar be openly acknowledged. And instead of the anticipated mockery he prepared himself, he felt that he was looked into eye-level. He felt like the scar was just a scar. Not ugly. Not disgusting.  
It was ten in the evening. The shop was about to close so Ritsu started locking the doors. Then he noticed a car park before the old house.

"Another one..." Ritsu muttered. And he felt a bitterness rolling off his tongue.

He haven't seen the man he'd been curious to see but every night, there was always a person going into the house. Each time a different face. He started to wonder why. He even hoped the man must be probably gay. Gay like himself.

He scolded himself for thinking that way when he currently was in a relationship. Just thinking about it made him feel like he was already cheating. Besides, not all men are gays.

After the inventory and cleaning of some stuff that lasted for another hour, Ritsu finally turned off the lights of the store and gathered his bag on the counter.

"Ritsu...hurry up," Arashi called out from the back entrance of the convenience store. He had his helmet on one hand and his rider gloves ready.

The two had been going out for four months already. The longest one for Ritsu that was why he was so happy. Sure Arashi could be sharp tongued at times, but the man had been caring. Although since 'care' was something Onodera Ritsu had a scarcity with ever since he was young, his definition of 'care' might be a little off than the real meaning of the world itself.

_He called me Ritsu._..the brunette blushed suddenly. It only meant that his boyfriend was turned on.

After locking the back entrance, Ritsu turned to look at his boyfriend. The back side was an alley covered in darkness. The bike was at the end of that alley. He stared eye to eye with Arashi wondering why the man wasn't still moving.

"Oi...Aras~"

He wasn't able to complete whatever he wanted to say. He felt his mouth get stuffed by a hot, strong object tracing every part of him. The exchange of sounds and breaths and saliva just grew intense making Ritsu feel weak on the knees.

The moon above their heads shone brightly. The strings of saliva that connected them showed how thick the other man's lust was. He pulled Ritsu by the shoulder to make him steady and to keep him from falling down.

Arashi pinned the brunette against the closed door while still ravishing the tired mouth. The bag Ritsu was carrying fell on the ground silently as he started giving in.

Both panting from the greedy and hard kiss, Ritsu looked at Arashi's blue eyes glinting despite the darkness. He looked at the pair with a dazed look. Gently, Arashi rested his face on Ritsu's shoulder.

The blonde sighed. "Let me do you here."

Surprised at what he heard, Ritsu shifted his gaze from above to the head snuggled on him.

"He-here? But~"

"Come on...I need to release this..."

Without waiting anymore for consent, Arashi's hands started working. One under Ritsu's shirt and one on the man's belt, his fingers acted like a snake circling on top of Ritsu's sensitive skin. Making Ritsu who wasn't really into the idea get fired up.  
The narrow space, the heat and the tension blurred Ritsu's judgement and clung desperately to his boyfriend. A signal that he was game with whatever perverted things Arashi had in mind. After all, that was the kind of person he was. Once he was in a relationship and he believe he loved the person, no matter what he won't deny them. He won't reject them. He would give them his all even if it meant nothing would be left for him. That was how thirsty he was for affection.

He felt his shirt rolled up to his chest. His bare chest and stomach exposed, he felt a little cold. Yet Arashi's hand on his chest teasing his nipples and his skin warmed him up. He could only shiver under Arashi's lead.

Ritsu's eyes grew wide, his pupils reflecting the moon above as he felt a finger entering him from behind. He had one of his legs raised on Arashi's waist. He was in that embarassing position but he couldn't help it. Arashi was so warm. It was warming the cold he tried to run away from so very long ago.

"A~Arashi...do it...now..." he whispered, biting down Arashi's shirt. The heat inside him was too much it was unbearable. He wanted to right away fill that emptiness. "Enter me."

"You're quiet turned on by this kinky set-up huh?" Arashi muttered while nibbling on Ritsu's earlobes. It made Ritsu almost go crazy from the sensation of the hot breath entering his ears.

Ritsu ears was filled with his partner's grunts of impatience. He dug his fingers harder on Arashi's back as he felt himself being lifted higher. Tears by the overwhelming sensation glazed his vision. The feeling of something againts his opening was enough to make him faint. And yet he was eagerly waiting for that pain as he pushed himself closer to Arashi.

"Agh~"

He swallowed his moan as he felt the tip of Arashi's manhood started creeping it's way in. He was so sure he'd die. There was no getting used to being stretched at his limits no matter how many times he'd done this. He could still feel the pain of being penetrated as if it was always his first time.

Both running after their breaths, Arashi pushed forward. Filling in Ritsu with too much, the latter's guttural moans just encouraged him to even push in deeper and harder.

Ritsu clinging with the last bit of his consciousness opened his eyes a little. Blurry from his own tears and sweat, he saw an unfamiliar glint of light. Like a headlights of a car approaching. Yet it was small. And it was looking straight at him.

"A cat?" Ritsu whispered through his ragged breathing.

"What cat? You're the cat..." Arashi muttered sliding down his tongue against Ritsu's smooth collar bone.

"A cat's watching us, Arashi..."

The other man laughed. "So what? I'll start moving now."

The whole time Ritsu was rocked by his boyfriend's movements, he fixed his hazy eyes at the shining eyes intently observing. They were acting more animalistic than the cat. And Ritsu had to laugh at that.

"Sorata..."

All color had been drained in Ritsu's face. He only had one time hearing that voice but he wouldn't be able to forget that.

"Sorata, come..." the voice grew nearer.

And Ritsu's panic grew hotter.

"Argh~ Ritsu...you're getting too tight around me...losen up a little..." Arashi grunted. Sounding like he was about to climax anytime soon.

"Ah, you fat cat, I knew you'd be here..."

And what Ritsu was fearing happened.

The dark haired man living in front of the convenience store froze a moment. Ritsu and him looked eye to eye. It would make Ritsu feel better if the guy scorned or showed disgust at being seen rammed by another guy. But instead, the man just looked at him.

"Arashi...stop..." Ritsu begged.

"Don't bother him, he'll go away anyway," and Arashi started moving once more. Rocking Ritsu up and down. And despite trying to suppress the lewd moans and cries, Ritsu's own lips wouldn't let him.

Shame poured all over Ritsu's body at the wet sounds filling the dark alley. But he couldn't tear off his gaze at the man whose hazel-eyes seemed to see through him. Just like how the cat looked at him, the man looked at him as if he was reading and seeing more than what he could see.

The man's eyes drifted to the silent cat and picked the feline up. He left with not a single word.

And Ritsu allowed his boyfriend fuck him a lot of times in that alley until he was satisfied. But the mind of the one in the bottom was somewhere else.  
*****


	3. Heat 3

**Heat 3**

"Ah shit! Sudden downpour in summer is really shitty!" Arashi complained readying his bike to go to a supplier.

The sky was dark, the road was wet and there was almost no soul on the road aside from Arashi getting ready and Ritsu seeing the man off.

"Sure you're okay alone here?" Arashi asked as he placed his helmet on his head.

Ritsu smiled a little. "Yeah. There aren't many customers anyway."

The blonde pressed on the start and a puff of white smoke circled the back of his motor bike. "I'll call you once I'm done in dealing with the supplier. And do me a favor. Stop looking dazed or else you might get robbed."

"Right," the brunette nodded smiling. "Take care," Ritsu said in a happy tone. These are the times when he felt like they were really lovers. The simple talk, the small smiles. More than the sex, it was his treasure and what he was holding on to with his relationship with Arashi.

After the man disappeared, Ritsu idly watched the rain pour stronger. There was no customer so he stood by the door and listened to the hypnotizing sound the rain made as it hit the black asphalt.

Just by listening to it, he felt going sleepy.

From afar, Ritsu noticed a figure coming closer. He was holding a black umbrella, covering his face. But that stance Ritsu was so sure who it was.

He didn't move on where he was resting since he didn't want to appear too much nervous and conscious. Besides, the man might just go directly to his house and not pay attention to him. After all, seeing the lewd and dirty scene four days ago, who would want to interact with him?

But he was wrong.

Instead of going directly to the other side of the street, the man walked straight towards his direction. He froze on the spot.  
Ritsu watched the man close his umbrella and stand by the over hang of the convenience store where he was also standing. How the long fingers brushed off the wet hair on his face. And how the hazel eyes looked down on him. He must have been staring very obviously that the tall man may be disgusted already.

"Do you like rain?"

"Ah-eh ha?" Surpised at the sudden question, Ritsu gaped at the slightly wet face of the man still with no other expression.  
"I like it when it rains," the deep voice filled Ritsu's ears and both of them just watched the strings of transparent, liquid diamonds land on the ground and on the grass on the sidewalk.

A silent yet calming feel surrounded them.

After a moment, Ritsu finally noticed the guy searching something from his pocket. He couldn't stop himself but ask.  
"Uhm, is there something wrong?"

The man looked at Ritsu for a brief moment and for a fleeting second smiled. That was the time Ritsu knew something was wrong with the way he looks at the still unknown man.

"I seem to have lost my lighter. This is the perfect time for smoking, and I lost my lighter. Stupid," The man replied with a slight gently tone.

Like a finger had been snapped at Ritsu, he searched for the front pocket of his yellow work apron. He looked satisfied when he found with no problem what he was looking for.

"Here..." Ritsu extended his hand with a green lighter. "Use this."

The moment Ritsu felt the slightest touch of the man's skin againts his as the man picked the lighter from his palm, he felt almost suffocating by the electricity running from his hand towards his spine.

He watched the man place the cigarette in his mouth. It was already staying in between his lips for some time but it fell on the wet ground.

The man looked at Ritsu and grinned. "How lame?"

"Ah...I'll just pretend I didn't see it."

After getting a new stick of cigarette and successfully burning it, a satisfied look passed on the man's face before extending back the lighter to Ritsu.

"You smoke as well?"

The brunette shook his head. "No. It's not me. My boy~" Ritsu pursed his lips. Irritated at how he just made the situation awkward when it was already going so well.

"You're boyfriend?" the man finished it for him.

Ritsu looked away and started feeling his cheeks go hot. Now he wouldn't be able to pretend that there was nothing that happened at the back of the convenience store four days ago.

"Uhm...About 'that'...sorry you have to see that," Ritsu murmured.

The man dragged a deep one from his cigarette and exhaled them through his nose. Ritsu could smell it and feel it lingering at the very strand of his clothes and hair.

"It's not a big deal. It's your business anyway," the man answered looking towards the house he bought. It looked beautiful under the pelting rain.

Ritsu felt a little down at what he heard. But, it was true anyway. He should just be happy the man wasn't mocking him and calling him faggot.

"You love him?"

Ritsu locked gazes with the tall man before him. The question was too personal for a stranger to ask. But well, this very man saw him in the act of having sex with another man. What was there left to hide?

"I suppose so." Ritsu's answer came sounding soft like he wasn't confident in it. And it even surprised him.

The man blew a puff of white smoke. Strangely, for Ritsu it seemed entrancing.

"You have bad taste in men."

Ritsu was speechless. He just remained standing there, unmoving. He didn't know how to respond to the sudden hot fingers caressing his scar.

"Wh~what do you think you're doing?" Ritsu asked stammering. No one, not even Arashi had touched his scar as if it wasn't disgusting. Instead, the man was running his thumb on it like he was touching a delicate, precious object. Stirring the most sensitive part of his being. His heart.

"Appreciating," the voice replied coolly.

The umbrella flew wide open, surprising Ritsu. Before he knew it, the man was already walking away from him. His dark slacks and dark shoes soaking in the rain.

The man stopped on his tracks and turned. The man's face half hidden by the umbrella, Ritsu could see the thin lips in a smile.

"Onodera, it might do you good to remember my name. It's Takano. Takano Masamune."

Ritsu who was nothing but confused acted like he was about to run after the man._ How'd he know my name?_

Takano Masamune lifted his black umbrella a little higher exposing a gentle smile and he started pointing at his chest.  
Ritsu slowly looked down on his own chest and saw his name printed on it. He had forgotten that their aprons have their names on it. With a baffled face, he watched Takano enter his house, leaving him happy, confused and doubtful.

He couldn't stand staying alone in there looking like a longing child so he started walking inside the door. However, the white stick of the cigarette that fell from Takano's mouth earlier caught his eyes.

The brunette bended casually and picked up the soiled cigarette and went inside the store. And instead of throwing the butt out, he placed it in his bag.

* * *

It has been three days since Ritsu saw the face of his boyfriend. And it started to worry him. He didn't go the the store nor left him any message. When he called the man, there was no one answering.

Sighing, Ritsu looked down at the box of chocolate cake he had bought. It was their fifth monthsary. As childish as it sounded, Ritsu wanted to celebrate it because it was the first relationship he had that lasted for that long. And he was sincerely hoping that it would go longer.

Making sure that he had locked all the doors and windows of the store, Ritsu began to take a long walk towards the man's apartment.

Fixing the strands of his hair, he smiled before pressing the doorbell.

He stood impatiently outside the neat looking complex. There were flowers hanging on the hallway. Probably because the owner was an old lady, she kept her complex full of flowers in season.

He pressed once more. But no one opened up for him. He was going a little irritated and decided to just go home. When he heard something that crashed then, Ritsu couldn't stop himself from pounding against the door.

"Arashi! Arashi?!"

He could hear his ears buzzing. He was worried to death. He could feel that something bad was happening inside the peaceful complex.

Finally gathering all his courage, he decided to just force open the door. With one hand carrying the cake, he positioned his shoulder forward. And with one forceful push of his weight, Ritsu ran forward, towards the door.

He fell on all fours as the door wasn't really locked. The cake completely crushed, oozing out the box, Ritsu raised his eyes only to meet Arashi's bleeding, busted face.

Ritsu gasped. "Arashi...?"

"What on Earth are you doing here Onodera-kun?!" a heavy voice spat sending Ritsu all nervous.

"Ueda-san?" Ritsu uttered in disbelief as he watched the father almost twist his lover's arms out of it's socket.

"This fucker, this fucker," the old man gasped. Ritsu could see the pain in the man's eyes. Suddenly the violence of the man melted into a stupor of violent sobs.

The blonde on his knees, the father slowly, desperately slid down the floor himself. The old man's fat fingers continuously beating the sorrowful blonde on the shoulders.

"How could you do that to your cousin? Arashi, she's five months pregnant!"

* * *

Face to face on the disheveled carpet of Arashi's living room, the two lover's looked at each other. Or perhaps, ex-lovers by any minute that night.

Ritsu just stared at the blue eyes with a vacant expression. The smashed cake still on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

It was like a miracle. Arashi, the king of boisterousness apologizing? His hand that was resting on his folded knee raised to the space between him and the brunette whose eyes had turned violently red. Like any minute he would shed blood instead of tears.

"I am really sorry, Ritsu," the blonde continued, caressing ever so softly the scar he avoided. "I really did fall in love with you"

"What about us then?" Ritsu's voice sounded so rigid. He didn't want to cry. He knew where this was going. He knew but he still hoped that somehow, his lover would choose him. Can't he be a little selfish this time?

Arashi had been kneeling now in front of Ritsu. His hands cupping Ritsu's hot face. He gently rested his forehead against Ritsu's damp one and sighed. A sigh of total desperation.

"We were playing around before I met you five months ago. When we started going out I already cut down all ties with her believe me. I didn't know she'd appear pregnant..."

"What about us?" Ritsu just repeated.

Arashi's lips kissed Ritsu's nose lightly. "I have to take responsibility Ritsu. I can't abandon the baby."

The shower of light kisses on Ritsu's face, the gentle hand rubbing on the top of his shoulders. They were all so gentle he couldn't take it.

"I really did plan on being with you. I'm sorry it turned out this way."

"Arashi...what about me? What about me?" The brunette started pounding his fists against the broad chest. But he knew it was futile. "In the end you are all just like them! How about me..."

Tiredness, heartbreak, Ritsu finally broke down and sobbed against the chest that was trying to calm him. He could feel how Arashi was trying to comfort him. For the first time he really felt that Arashi loved him. But why did he have to feel it when they were already on the verge of ending their relationship? Everything was just so cruel.

"It hurts more than hell Arashi...it hurts more than hell!"

The strong arms around him grew tighter. Arashi's breath on his neck and Ritsu felt more broken as he felt his neck get soaked as well.

Arashi was crying on his neck. The cold tears stabbed Ritsu more. The reality was there. It was the end.

* * *

"I hope you be a good father," Ritsu finally spoke after crying for so long.

Standing by the door, the darkness enveloping everything, Ritsu smiled weakly at Arashi. His fingers had been locked in between the blonde's all the time. Savouring the last moments of being together.

"You don't have to push yourself smiling. I am such a jerk."

"You are," Ritsu agreed. "Be good to both of them. Don't add another orphan in the shelters."

Arashi's expression turned sharp. His squeeze on Ritsu's hand hard yet convincing. "I will."

The sensation of finally releasing the fingers Ritsu thought would be his forever was again threatening to start another cry. Looking hard for the last time at the blue eyes that mocked him, teased him, loved him, and made him cry, Ritsu abruptly turned.

That was it. The end. A clean breakup at least compared to his previous break-ups.

"Ritsu!"

The brunette heard it. But he didn't turn at all. He knew if he did, he'd just pathetically beg Arashi to run away with him and leave everything behind. He held his resolve. He won't be turning back.

"You...take care of yourself."

"You too."

Ritsu wasn't sure if Arashi heard him or not. His croaky throat only made a choking word when he uttered the words. His slow steps, the quietness of the road, the starless sky. It all shook him the reality that once again, he was alone.  
It was a clean break. But the clean break felt a million times painful than being tossed completely. And as he walked through the night, his vision was blurry from the tears he tried to stop before Arashi.

* * *

Inside his messy apartment, he sat in the middle dazed. His mind had accepted the situation but his heart refused it. He totally refused it that he started emptying all the sake bottles he could fine in his small home.

Before he knew it, he was sprawled on the tatami floor. Lips dripping off the sake he couldn't bring his throat to chug down anymore.

"You never learn...slut..." Ritsu chanted.

The bag he always used on the side revealing something white in it. In the midst of his drunkeness, he crawled on all fours and grabbed the shining white stick inside his bag.

"Ahh..." the brunette giggled. "The kind Takano's cigarette, right?"

Wet from perspiration, soaked in his own tears, Ritsu placed the cigarette to his lips. Pretended he was smoking as well though he had never smoked one in his life.

"Let's smoke shall we?"

Clumsy hands crawled deeper into the bag. And when he finally got what he was looking for, he stood. Flicked the lighter and positioned the small flickering fire to the tip of the cigarette. But the stupid butt won't light.

The world became a blurr, and before he knew it he was already lying on his back, the tongue of flames licking every corners of his room.

* * *

"They love making me believe. But they all do it again..."

Through the smoke and his blurry head, he could hear the siren of the fire trucks and ambulance outside. He could hear the screams and cries of the people.

And he could feel his consciousness leaving him.

"I'm so tired," Ritsu mumbled. Not just body but every living soul in him was. "I wanna rest."

His lips quivering, his shoulders shaking, his chest drumming, Ritsu for the last time looked at his closed door. He couldn't even move a muscle in him even if he wanted to.

"I am fine dying," he whispered to himself despite the fear. "But if there is really a god somewhere...let me experience happiness first before taking me. Don't be so unfair..."

He closed his eyes, the cigarette crumpling between his sweaty hand.

"Someone save me..." he croaked. There was only one kind face flashing in his delirious mind. "Takano-san..."

"Takano-san! TAKANO-SAN!" he screamed from the top of his dying lungs.

But no one came. Only the hissing fire was the clear thing that was coming to him.


	4. Heat 4

**Heat 4**

* * *

_This is the end of twenty five, pathetic years..._

His heavy lids closed. His lips parted. The last drop of his tears ran down to his hairline. He was dead.

If he was dead, why could he still hear the door banging. If he was dead, why could he feel his eyes trying to open up to look towards the noise. It was seriously breaking the peace of his sleep.

Through the thick flames, a dark silloutte came nearer. It came closer to him. And he felt something heavy and thick and cold wrap around him like he was a sushi roll.

"Ritsu? You with me?"

Ritsu narrowed his eyes but he could only see red and yellow everywhere.

"You're safe with me. Hold on."

He couldn't make it out. The man was wearing a mask. His huge like a fat man in red and shining yellow line against his chest. Ritsu's weak lids searched the eyes behind the mask. It was burning hazel hues he saw before everything turned white.

* * *

Ticklish.

Ritsu turned to his left but the ticklish sensation wouldn't go away.

The feathery touch on his face was so light it felt like a dream. The softness of wherever he was felt like paradise. He was sure he was really dead. But the annoying ticklish sensation on his face was starting to get into his nerves.

He shot his green eyes wide only for him to shut them again. The bright light dizzied him.

"Agh~" he grunted aloud. The smell of something unfamiliar filled his nose. It didn't smell like alcohol or antiseptic. It smelled of antiquity.

He lifted his heavy hand on his face to slap whatever fly, or mosquito was bothering him. But instead, he caught a hand dancing ever so lightly on his scar.

Ignoring the pain from the bright lights, the brunette dared to open his eyes and saw a face he was familiar with and yet a stranger to him.

"Takano-san?"

"Glad you're awake. You've been sleeping for 2 days straight."

Ritsu still have the fingers caught in his hand while roaming his pulsating pupils around the room. Three reddish suits where hanging on the wall. A black helmet full of scratches rested on top of an old cabinet. And trophies he couldn't make out for were lined up neatly on a shelf. To the other side of the room where books piled one after another. Even the floors had been occupied by numerous bounds of books. And at the lower side of the small window was a basket and a black cat cuddled in it.

"This...isn't the hospital isn't it?"

"No it's not. You're in my house."

Finally letting go of the wriggling fingers between his grasp, Ritsu's gaze fell on the exposed knee under the blanket and all the memory of the fire almost eating him up alive came back to him.

His worried eyes shot to the hazel eyes.

Before he could utter a word, the hand pestering his face patted his head. Strangely it calmed him.

"No and yes."

"What?" Ritsu uttered dumbfounded.

"No. You weren't the cause of the fire if that's what you are thinking. There was a faulty electrical wiring above the ceiling of the room to your left."

A relief rushed to Ritsu's features. Sighing, the brunette peeked once more at the man being so very kind to him.

"And the yes?" he asked meekly.

"The yes...I don't have any idea."

The man stood. That was the time Ritsu noticed the man barefooted walk around the room as if pacing.

"How did I end up here?" Ritsu again asked. Sizing up the situation, this guy was being too nice to him. What was the catch?

Takano turned to Ritsu with a grin. "Didn't I tell you that knowing my name would be handy for you?"

Trying to sit from his position, Ritsu stared at the man in the middle of the room.

"You were calling out my name during the fire. Honestly I shouldn't feel that way, but I was happy. And I would have taken more time to know where you were if you hadn't called out that loud. You could've really died."

"You...saved me?"

The man didn't answer. Takano turned his back to leave Ritsu alone to get food. But Ritsu called out once more. "Why were you there?"

"It's my job. I'm a fireman, if it isn't that very obvious."

* * *

By the time Ritsu was completely healed, the brunette realized he'd been staying at the old house for five days straight already. He shared the clothes, the food on the table and everything in the house but never did he hear a single complain from the darkhaired man.

They'd eat in silence. Breakfast and dinner had become a ritual. But most of the day the man wasn't in the house and Ritsu was left alone to think things through.

Think about his life and his heart. He couldn't anymore.

He'd been stabbed in the heart too many times there was nothing left of his flesh for another knife to sink into. When he peered at the convenience store one time, he noticed it never opened again. His job had left him. He had no training or proper education. His apartment was now ashes. He had nowhere to go.

The more he thought of his situation, the more he suddenly realized that it might have been better to have been engulfed by the fire in the end.

Wearing the oversized pyjamas of the man he was burdening, Ritsu almost got a heart attack at the sudden continuous doorbell ringing.

His eyes searched the wall clock. Five in the afternoon. It was too early for Takano to be home by that time. Still, the brunette silently walked his way across the spacious living room towards the door.

"Takano-san?" Ritsu asked nervously. Doing this felt strange. Like he was actually waiting for the man to come home.

"Ritsu...it's me. Arashi."

* * *

It hasn't been long since they parted but Ritsu could see how much the man had lost weight. The two sitting across each other with the unevenly shaped center table in between them. It was Arashi who broke the silence.

"How have you been?"

"Unfortunately, still alive as you can see," the brunette smiled bitterly, his fingers dancing on his lap. "How about you and your soon to be baby?"

When Ritsu asked, he regret it. There was still a pain inside him.

"She had a miscarriage."

That one line froze everything in Ritsu's mind. What was he supposed to do with that information? Leap out of joy? Mourn? Most importantly, why was Arashi telling him_ this?_

"Ritsu...come back to me."

Ritsu looked straight into the blue eyes before him. He could feel his blood boiling within him. His pulse started to race as his heart started drumming inside his chest.

"Is this a joke?"

The man who was wearing a black jacket, probably for mourning smiled sadly.

"I really wanted to make things work out between us. You have nowhere to go right? You cannot burden the owner of this house any longer than you already have. Besides Ritsu," the man looked desperate. "I miss you."

A lump started forming inside Ritsu's throat he felt like he'd suffocate. "You were able to toss me aside very easily Arashi, then you want me to come running to you since you are no longer going to be a father?"

The shaking hands took hold of the brown throw pillow on the sofa and came soon flying towards the blonde's direction. It landed on his shoulder.

"What do you take me for you freaking bastard!?"

Arashi just watched his ex-lover glare at him. He wasn't really expecting this to be easy. But he just thought that maybe, if Ritsu saw how serious he was, the man would forgive him for hurting him so much.

"Leave. LEAVE!"

"Ritsu, don't you love me anymore?"

Both of them stood. The room seemed to be swirling around him, Ritsu felt nauseous.

His eyes full of hatred, the hatred he had for all the men who trampled him finally escaping the lid he tried heavily to shut. But instead of shouting, a low, heartfelt voice escaped his lips. It surprised Ritsu at how natural it rolled off his tongue.

"We're not meant to be together," the brunette whispered in a voice barely audible. Yet his emotions were all there every word felt so heavy towards Arashi.

Ritsu stared at the back of Arashi leaving. He wasn't sure for how long had he stopped breathing as he watched the back he clung to desperately before grow farther. He was seriously letting it go this time.

The moment the door clicked shot, his knees gave out. His trembling hand flew towards his mouth stiffling a painful cry.

* * *

"Thank you," was the last words Arashi muttered to the darkhaired man who was standing by the walls. "Take care of him for me."

Takano touched for the knob of the door. "You needn't to tell me."

Opening the door that had just closed moments ago, Ritsu's form was the first thing Takano saw. In the middle of his messy living room, there the brunette sat on the floor. Knees to his chest, his face buried on them. There was not a single cry he could hear but a silent, deep breathing like he was choking.

Slowly, he walked towards the man quietly like what a kid would to not scare a feisty cat away. He stood before the form and called out the name he really wanted to call ever since.

"Ritsu."

The red eyes gazed up. Confused at the first name basis. Confused at the gentleness. Confused at everything. All was so complicated he felt cornered, lost, helpless and alone.

"I am really glad you refused him."

"What are you saying?" the brunette spat for the first time. "Eavesdropping aren't we?"

Too bad for Takano, the irritation and anger the man seated on his floor seemed to be poured out on him instead.

The green eyes watched the tall figure bend his knees and seat before him. That time they were on eye level and the kind hazel eyes were peering straight to his soul. Ritsu felt unguarded.

"This is really bold of me but..."

In an instant, there was no other way for Ritsu but to stare ahead. Stare into space as the lips of his savior brushed his own softly. Ritsu wasn't even so sure what was happening anymore. Was he kissed? What happened?

His cheeks still being cupped gently by huge, rough hands, Ritsu stared dumbfounded at the man before him. The eyes, the honey colored eyes that gleamed despite the shadows stared back without faltering.

"What's this? You took me in because you wanted to screw me?"

"No. I kissed you because I love you."

At the words, Ritsu started laughing. From all the crazy relationships he had, this has got to be the funniest.

"Love me?" Ritsu slapped the hands away. "We met only a couple of weeks ago! Why don't you just tell me the truth that when you saw me being fucked in that dark alley, you think you could also do me?"

Takano's lips were in a thin line.

After Ritsu's delirious laughter that echoed through the entire house, the brunette pulled on a serious face. The ticking of the clock nearby sounded strangely loud. And then Ritsu sighed. His fingers started running down on the first button of his borrowed pyjama. His fingers clumsily, one by one unfastened the buttons. Slowly his flesh became exposed at Takano who didn't move an inch.

"Come on. I have no money. I couldn't repay you. I guess sex is the only way for me to repay your kindness."

Flesh hitting flesh filled the room. The hard slap on Ritsu's left cheek left him speechless. He looked at the floor holding his hot cheek not uttering a single word. The pain, it rattled inside him. Before he knew it, the tears he even didn't shed for Arashi dropped on the floor silently.

"Don't you make light of how I feel for you! If fucking you is the only thing I have in mind I would have done it when you were there sleeping soundly on my bed for two days! I wouldn't even care if you're conscious or not!"

It was the first time Ritsu heard the man raise his voice. It pierced every single nerve in his body. He didn't want to cry, but his eyes won't stop as he remained looking down on the floor.

"How do you expect me to trust you? You don't know how many men have told me they love me. But in the end they left me..." Ritsu mumbled to the floor. And abruptly he glared back at the hazel eyes watching him.

"WHAT MAKES _YOU_ DIFFERENT FROM _THEM!?_"

The man being yelled at didn't say anything. It was as if he was just listening to the brunette pour out whatever he have inside.

"They filled me promises I know they wouldn't keep because I am stupid. I believed them anyway because I am stupid. I got hurt because I am stupid! I am so freaking tired of being toyed at! I don't want to be involved with anyone anymore, forever!"

Huffing at his outburst, Ritsu wiped his face with the back of his hand and gritted his teeth.

"You look like you have all the things in the world. You look good, you carry yourself well, why would you fall in love with me?"

"Why shouldn't I?" the voice countered. It was more calm now, like a lake undisturbed by even a leaf falling into it.

Ritsu faced Takano, not hiding anymore. The burden in his heart, he wanted to pour them out already. Or else he felt he would go insane.

"I don't have anything I can be proud of, I have nothing. I have NOTHING," Ritsu grabbed Takano's hand and led it to his cheek with the uneven, brownish skin. "This, I am so ugly," the look of someone who despised their own self flashed at Ritsu's green, now lifeless eyes. "Tell me, why should I believe that someone could love me like this?"

"The reality is I am just good for fucking. But not with real relationships. I've come to understand that when Arashi asked me to come back to him. He misses his fuck buddy."

"I am so tired of forcing myself to believe there is one who'd accept me like this. I am really, really, really tired."

Takano started once again to caress the scar on Ritsu's face. He looked at it intently, seriously. Not a mock can be hinted from his eyes it rendered Ritsu silent. He didn't know anymore how to handle Takano's strangeness like the man was fond of his scar.

"You're the most beautiful person I met."

"..."

Takano leaned closer. His lips resting warmly on Ritsu's skin licked by the fire when the brunette was still young. It made the green-eyed man shiver.

"You should be wearing your head up high and be proud," the deep voice whispered into his ears.

Although feeling weak, Ritsu tried to push himself away from Takano and felt his back hit the sofa lightly. His eyes not leaving the hazel ones, Ritsu smiled bitterly.

"Proud that I look hideous?" he asked with mockery. "You're really twisted aren't you?"

Clicking his tongue out of impatience, the older man lifted his black turtle neck off his body and tossed it on the floor. His finely chiseled muscles were plain obvious. But the very reality that the man had removed his shirt without so much as a thought in front of Ritsu, made Ritsu felt like he was going to be be finally raped anytime soon.

A sudden fear crossed his chest and he tried to stand and run only to sink back on where he was sitting.

"Look at me and listen carefully," Takano's voice was deadly serious. Ritsu could see the muscles on the man's chest grow tense.

Thumb caressing his scar on his face, while the other hand of Takano gripped him still on the shoulders to not let him escape, Ritsu's nervousness crawled in the entirety of his body. The gaze coming from the once kind and patient eyes was too much he wanted to gaze away but it was as if there was a hidden magnet making him stare back.

"I know you're wounded, physically and emotionally," Takano began. His voice low as a whisper, his thumb on Ritsu's scar gentle. "You try to hide them. You try to hide this scar, not wanting to show weakness. But Ritsu, I would consider them as a medal of honor."

"I don't get you..." was Ritsu's weak response. His brain was so muddled up with everything.

"Look at me," Takano ordered. And turned his back so that Ritsu would see it clearly.

A silent gasp escaped Ritsu's mouth. More than being afraid, Ritsu was shocked. To see a scar so uneven without a shape spread across the toned back of the man saying he loves him was unbelievable. It was terrifying.

Silence ate the words off of Ritsu's mouth. He didn't know what to make with Takano's scar.

"You still don't get it?" Takano asked, turning around once more. "If not for you, I must have been dead a long time ago."

Ritsu's expression turned from a baffled one to a face having a nightmare.

He was pulled back to a hazy memory of ten years ago. Being orphaned at a young age, he grew up in an old orphanage. He was always a happy child if not clumsy. Always getting scolded by the nuns but everyday was a playground to him.

Him being a curious boy loved wandering around the old premises. Even at the wing where older children stayed, he decided to break in. And one night, an explosion woke the entire orphanage. In a fleeting second, the darkness was enveloped by red. Screaming, shouting, dying.

He remembered running swiftly towards the exit. He was agile and fast. But a cry stopped him.

In one of the huge rooms was a boy pinned on the ground with a burning timber on top of his back.

Ritsu couldn't remember where he got the strenght. All he could remember was the fire on the timber reached out towards him and licked him on the cheek. It hurt he started to shed tears but he did everything to lift off the heavy timber off the boy.

The orphanage had been in a chaotic state after the fire. Some kids running away. And that included Ritsu. He thought that life outside of the orphanage was easy. But he was dead wrong.

He didn't know what had happened to the boy he helped. He left him in an ambulance outside and never looked back. His own injury left untreated.

* * *

Takano seemed suddenly tired. His hair fell on his face hiding what expression he had. Ritsu just stared into space as he felt the soft hair rest on his shaking shoulders.

"You're alive..." Ritsu muttered, his voice pained.

"I am. Because of _you_."

Ritsu just looked at the searching hazel eyes at him. His chest full of emotions he couldn't almost contain.

The rough hands touched the base of Ritsu's neck and they went up to the man's flushed cheeks. "I've been searching for you. You are the reason I chose this profession. I wanted to thank you but you were not in the orphanage anymore."

"When I was assigned here, I didn't complain at all despite being out of the city where I thought you'd be more likely to be. So the first time I saw you in the convenience store, I couldn't believe it."

Now, resting his forehead on Ritsu's, Takano's hand went down on the man's back, hugging the brunette for the very, very, first time. "I found you when I least expect it."

"Please believe in me. This time, you've finally met a man that will never ever make you suffer."

The arms around Ritsu was strong and it smelled of the scent of the rain. He could have been imagining it but Takano emitted the feeling of the calmness and the tranquility of rain on a cold night.

All the things that happened that day, the burst of hundreds of emotions and revelations tired Ritsu very much he found himself closing his eyes and resting his chin on Takano's shoulder.

The arms around the brunette grew tighter, but instead of being unable to breath, a warmth and a comforting feeling enveloped him as the two of them stayed in that way for a long while.

* * *

All judgements and rationality were swept away the precise moment Ritsu felt himself leaving the floor. He was so overwhelmed his chest was so full that he only buried his face on the strong shoulders that carried him towards the bedroom he had been using. With the light only coming from the lamp posts outside through the windows with it's thin curtains, it only intensified the dreamy, suffocating air of lust. The darkness only made the desire clearer.

Unlike being tossed on the bed with rapid movements, Ritsu felt himself being showered with light kisses on the face, on the neck like he was the most precious thing on earth that he started to whimper. He could feel how the man before him was trying to be patient for him.

His finger tips searched for the lenght of Takano's arms until he reached the hands grasping the sheet. Everything was hazy and he wasn't sure if he was still conscious or just dreaming. Such gentleness only appeared in his dreams.

"Takano-san," his soft voice was just like a breath to Takano who had leaned closer to listen carefully. His hands dancing on the soft strands of darkbrown in the darkness. "I am the kind who...who gives everything I have to anyone who promises me forever. But this time, if you end up being like them..."

The wetness on Ritsu's lashes was visible that Takano had the urge to kiss them away.

"If you end being like them...I swear I'll kill you first before comitting suicide," Ritsu declared with eyes shut. He looked like he must be joking. Even Takano had to laugh. But Ritsu just remained shaking under the comfortable weight on top of him.

"I'm sorry..." Takano muttered, his voice sounded like he was smiling. "You will never have the chance."

* * *

A month has passed since the fire. And within this month, Ritsu found himself being able to stand on his own surprisingly in a fast rate. He would still stay at Takano's house, but he found himself a new job.

He wasn't anymore the guy who cowered away when someone looked at his scar. He now wore them confidently. Like what Takano said, it was a symbol of triumph. A medal of honor to serve as a reminder that he was able to survive the harsh life until now.

He couldn't change that much in a short span of time but he was taking one step at a time. With Takano guiding and watching him.

The rain outside started to pour, making a background of noises for the two men entagled together in the shadows. Both naked not just in body but also in soul all for each of them to see. Their skin against each other felt so natural. As if it was an extension of their long lost self finally reunited.

No words uttered. No sweet nothings. All they wanted to tell each other was communicated by their own body languages.

Takano was always the one to lead. His mouth stealing Ritsu's breath away, not allowing the brunette to escape for just a second. His hands, rough and calloused by work, felt like sandpaper crawling on the soft, supple skin of his loved one. And it was only making Ritsu shiver from anticipation.

Hearing Ritsu pant under him just urged Takano to do more. He left Ritsu's now swollen mouth and traced the smoothness of his jawline down to the sweet neck where he kissed and sucked. Leaving traces of him that will show the word that Ritsu was only his alone. The sensation of being sucked at the nipples, while being stimulated in his painful erection made Ritsu arch his back. The pain was too much he wanted to scream. The flow of all the sensations on his body, pain, pleasure, everything was unbearable it was making him lose sanity.

He reached for Takano's neck and bit down hard on the man's shoulder. Takano only grunted but never stopped from what he was doing.

"Masamune...hurry..." Ritsu begged, biting down on the salty skin before him. Salty, a taste of sweat and Takano's scent just intoxicated Ritsu even more he started moving his hips. It was only a matter of time before he would also taste blood on it.

A kiss was planted on the tip of his nose instead.

"Be patient Ritsu..."

"Ahh...ah!"

A shock wave strong enough to blurr his vision ran through Ritsu's spine as he felt something foreigh making its way into his opening. He was left clingling helpless on Takano.

Amuffled cry of pleasure was only Ritsu could muster as he was feeling being loosened up all the while his mouth being stuffed with Takano's probing tongue. Ritsu's toes started folding, his knees quivering, his entire body shaking.

"Shussh...just a little more Ritsu...I don't want you hurt..." the man, with raspy voice from lust said while sucking on Ritsu's tongue.

Despite 'not being hurt', Ritsu's erection was already painful like he'd burst any moment. Despite not being touched there, he'd gone hard alone just by all the tease he got from his bottom. Embarassing.

By the time Takano had his three fingers scissored inside the softness of Ritsu, Ritsu was already in a daze, crying.

"You're too gentle...you're too gently I can't take it..." Ritsu cried, burying the side of his face on the pillow.

"What you want to play S&M?" Takano whispered in Ritsu's ears.

"That's not it!" Ritsu exclaimed. "You're always to gentle with me...it's unbelieveble. It's scary."

Strong hands, gripped Ritsu's thighs and spread them as far as it could go. The touch of the burning, throbbing sensation in his waiting, twitching opening made Ritsu but his lip hard.

Hands on Ritsu's hips, Takano showered more of his gentle kisses on Ritsu's collarbone. "Didn't I tell you this time you are with the right man?"

"Gug...Ahh..."

There was no time to answer. The thing Ritsu was waiting for was already inside of him throbbing, expanding, molding his insides into its shape. And he didn't hate it one last bit. It was always so different with Takano. He never felt pain. Or perhaps his pain was transformed into pleasure even before it took place. They both remained connected while sucking the life out of each other. Allowing Ritsu to adjust at his hardness, at his size.

Licking the sweat on Ritsu's chest, Takano pushed forward. "I'm going to move now, Ritsu..."

The cries and grunts of pleasure echoed through the night. The rain pouring so harshly outside the house, hitting the brick roof, making a rythmic enchanting noise. But the fire inside that room and inside themselves just got stronger and more vivid.

* * *

**End.**

* * *

chapter end notes:

Hello. thank you for reading this long shot. i tried to be as mature as possible in this. not about mature content...lol..i mean how characters acted in the midst of problems and situation. not too much fluff too coz love isn't always fluffy and that's what i tried to explore in this fic.

as for smex. it's been a while since i wrote one and since i am getting rustic, i just tried to play with words instead of actually describing what they're doing! hehehe

i hope you enjoyed it the least bit. the theme was calming for me. ^^

please tell me what you think. this is my first attemT for a one shot. it ended up a longshot though. pfft.^^

REVIEWS! HEHEHE


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